thanks_bastards

that last post reads way more depressed and desperate than I actually am.

shits ok, im *slightly* drunk...gotta drink all my beer before i move...because i have beer to bottle that im BREWING MYSELF

yes, i found a hobby where I can be sustainably drunk.

also, starting april im going to be studying buddhism. it fits in with a lot of the things i already believe and we share some of the same ideals for what a person should strive for in living life. Im not going into it as a religion, but more of a philosophy and way to improve how i live with myself, others, and everything around me. SELF IMPROVEMENT MOTHERFUCKER. Get into it

these days, they feel like decades
the nights seconds

So, read through some old posts from like 3-4 years ago...came to a post where I mentioned how I had friends over my dorm, including a girl I had a really huge fucking thing for all through sophomore/junior year but never made my move because I have that stupid thing called a fear of rejection...post talks about how we all were watching movies, and then her and I crashed in my bed.

She slept in my bed....with me....and I didn't do anything...

Someone, go back in time and kick me for that.

But in reality, I had a lot of experiences with some truly awesome people(who I sometimes wish hadn't fallen out of my life because of dumb circumstances) that I wouldn't have had if that had happened...or maybe they would have...but I'll err on the side of caution and say maybe that was just how it was supposed to be.

and now, to bed

Up at 1am on a worknight, what's up with me tonight?!

  I guess I'm reveling in some success. Today was my 90-day review(although technically that should be in 2 weeks) at work. In general I think I did very well. Every aspect was scored on a scale of poor-adequate-great(or something like that). Most of my actual work related subjects were in the "adequate" category, which doesn't surprise me.
  
  Through these past three months, almost a month and a half were spent working on an assignment that didn't involve me needing to learn how to use 90% of the equipment in the lab, so now that the project is just about done for the January catalog, I've only recently started to learn how to use things like the interferometer, trioptics, and some other assorted smaller tools. I've also started branching into other aspects of the position. Instead of just inspecting incoming parts from our vendors and production locations, I'm also dealing with customer returns and "corrective action" assignments based on problems we see in certain lines of product. It's been a hectic few weeks, and I've made a bunch of small stupid mistakes using our company-wide organization software, but nothing too big.

  Speaking of the company software, at the end of October we switched over from the old management software to this new system. I feel like that really put me in a good light, as I was able to quickly learn the processes and even help out the other people in the lab with problems. We have an older Russian man working in the lab, so not only is he not the best with English, he didn't grow up with computers. I've done a lot of time having to help him out with fixing things or diagnosing problems, and I'm sure my boss appreciates that. It seems like everyone in the lab has a distaste for him, which I'm sure is just from years of having to deal with him not understanding anything outside of his job procedures. I feel bad for him. He got us all Russian chocolates for Christmas, which was a nice gesture.

  Taking a week off of my exercise routine to sort of "recharge" before hitting the new year hard. I've been running regularly, 3 times a week, and while I'm still crap, I have the confidence that I can actually keep it up and be a for real runner. I've always been worried because of past knee problems in sports that I would have an issue, and that psyched myself out of ever really giving it a good attempt, but after a month and a half of increasing my time and distance(working through a walk/run program I found on line) every week, I think one of my goals for 2012 is to do at least one 5k. The park by my house has a running path that's almost exactly 5k, so they hold shit there a lot. Could feel good to raise some money for a charity or something, I guess.

  So tonite I'm bound for only 5ish hours of sleep, but it's my last shift before I get 4 days off, and next week will be light as well. I think I can deal with a little less sleep for one night. Tomorrow night is running around helping Nina finish her Christmas shit, then Friday I have to finish getting her some stuff while she's at work. Saturday is relaxing day, and Sunday is breakfast with my parents, and dinner with hers, or so I assume. Haven't got details down. Monday I'm hoping to do some more relaxing, catch up on some reading, and start working on a few personal endeavors for the new year. 

a slow walk

the sky greys

a jog

dark blues, pinks

a run

oranges, reds

with all his might

pistons at full steam

attempting to prolong the inevitable

a darkness he can not evade

Alright, it's been two years, but here goes nothing.

I guess I'll just bring everyone up to date on the past two years. December 09 went strict vegetarian/part time vegan after 2 or 3 years bouncing around between eating meat or not. I say part time vegan because I still do have some dairy(usually eggs, cheese, or ice cream), but only a few days out of the week. Mostly for personal philosophy on animal rights and cruelty in the industry, but also a little bit for health reasons. 

Started dating my girlfriend(Nina) the next February, still going so far so good. Moved in with me the following January, but just recently moved back out because of some shit with one of my roommates and his asshole of a girlfriend. Luckily for her, she's not on the lease. I have to wait this out the next two months until I can move the fuck out. Currently in the process of trying to find roommates, or else I gotta move back to my parents.

I guess I forgot to mention that I finally moved out of my parents' house! August 2010, moved to Westmont, NJ, about 10 minutes across the bridge from Philly. Moved in with a former/now current bandmate, a dude from a band we used to play with all the time,and  a random girl we found on craigslist. The next February moved a few blocks down the street to a bigger and cheaper house. Same roommates, with the addition of my girlfriend.

Worked that job in Camden up until this past May. So much stress from that job, barely outweighed the awesome pay(way more than I deserved for what I actually did). Although, that really was the only thing keeping me there. There was a month I would have recurring dreams about fights breaking out, and getting shot by a student. This was totally baseless as I had never been threatened by anyone, but I guess knowing the kids' backgrounds I should be surprised I made it so long without that. A combination of not giving a shit about that job anymore and my boss not returning my calls led me to officially leave and part with the company that was donating my salary.

In October, almost at the very end of all my savings, I finally found my first full time job. Now I work for Edmund Optics(http://www.edmundoptics.com/) as a Quality Assurance Inspector. I get to use fancy machinery, get paid crap considering I have a BS but the job only requires HS Diploma. Whatever, a jobs a job. It's an awesome company with huge industry standing, so I'm hoping to stay there and move up the ranks over the years.

Still working at my tutoring job at night on top of my optics job. Working 8am to 8pm 4 days a week is rough, and especially now that I'm working 6 days a week in total, but I need the money. Saving up for a car and a security deposit on a new house if I can get some people to live with.

All in all I really have nothing HUGE to complain about. I'm mostly healthy, and am working on getting back in to some semblance of shape. 2 years of stress and periods of depression packed on a few pounds, back to where I was for parts of college. Not happy about it, but I've started running/jogging/walking as much as i can 3 days a week, looking to build up to running every day. It's a slow process right now but I'm feeling more confident about it than my past attempts at consistent running.

Looking forward to winter, snow, and paid holiday time off

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Is anybody still out there in Internet-land?

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I know its been like, 2 years, but I might start using this guy again.

This entry is dedicated to my new favorite commercial


From now on, whenever I drink whiskey, its going to be called "Fighting the Giant Octopus"

so good.

"Maybe I'll get ya laid" is probably the worst way to persuade me to come hang out with you.

I'm so disinterested in sex with anyone right now. I hate the way people use other people for the sake of putting their dick in someone/putting someones dick in them, and I want nothing to do with that. I know too many people who put so much focus on the next time they're getting laid that it seems like their lives revolve around it, and I'd rather not live my life like that. I've been doing a good job up to now of that, so here's to staying on track.

however, i am currently accepting applications for awesome platonic hangouts. so do that up.

I'm going to boston for 3 days, which rules. Gonna be even further disconnected from everyone i know, which is a fun hobby right now.

don't feel personally insulted if i havent been answering calls/texts/emails/etc. in the last few months. I've been trying to spend as little technology time as possible. It's nice.